Feb 14, 2011

I'm In Chains

Last post was on a f*cking perfect Valentine's Day perhaps?
But sorry folks, had to burst the bubble. Tonight was a disaster in every imaginable way.
You're already 29 yrs old, and you're still a Momma's boy, I get that.

You're staying at home, and had to eat dinner while pretending that you haven't eaten with 'friends' outside. 
I can assume I get that, though half-heartedly.

It's Valentine's Day. To avoid many questions, you forcefully agreed to a rushed dinner with your loved one (though you would rather spent half an hour chatting at your workplace before going off, while I was already at home since hours ago waiting for you), then after the somewhat lacklustre meal, you rushed back, dropped me off and not even worthy of a proper goodbye.

Valentine's gift? Kiss? Or even the whole make out session? Candlelight dinner?

What was I thinking? This is even WORSE than our uni days, when at least the few hours spent at KFC/McDonald's were all soooo memorable and sweet. 

Yes, I am demanding. But there is just so much that I can take. Is it that hard for you to tell Mum that you'll be late because you had appointment with friends, a karaoke session or even a movie? Or try to maybe settle for a night's out at a friend's, instead of rushing home every single night; even after the wee hours of the morning (after a session at MP)?

Damn. This is f*cked up. And let's not get to the point where we start discussing about you actually moving out with me; or even the thought of you leaving home in peace. Maybe I set my expectations too high. But I have moved here for a good few months now. Aside from the rushed gym sessions and meals, we rarely even spent time together.

How many movies have we watched in KL since? One? Two?

Or the fact that you can't even go shopping with me on your off day, and I had to shop by myself, wondering what the heck was I thinking moving away from my comfort zone. To imagine the plans we had before both of us moved back to KL; how we would be looking at our future from another perspective, and the possibility of finaly moving in together.

Lies. Dreams. Empty promises. Shattered dreams. 

Good night, and I am sure there would be repercussions, but what have I got to lose? .....

5 comments:

  1. He doesn't understand u i guess. Give him some time. Just be a bit more patient. No one is perfect. May be he is having a hard time juggling between mommi, work and u. Dun act or make decision at time of anger, bcz it will never be a good one :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey..chill k..i believe he also want to give all those to u, unfortunately the time just not in his side..u guys will have some other time to celebrate or be together..dun worry the time will come..

    ask me for shopping..i love shopping...ehehe

    Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How true...and once it's gone...then you will realise and ask, is it better with or without it

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Anonymous, though I know who you are and I completely understood your points.

    thompsonboy : Yeah, sometimes it's better to grin and bear it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have exactly the same feeling as u..just broke up with him last 2 weeks, although it just a one month date, but i do feel hurt at that moment.
    He spent all his time with works,i understand work is much important than a date,but couldnt he just spend 1 or 2 hour with me for drinks or meet up in a week?

    ReplyDelete

I need a piece of your mind. Now.