Ten Years

I Know You Care - Ellie Goulding

Clinging to me
Like a last breath you would breathe
You were like home to me
I don't recognize this street
Please don't close your eyes
Don't know where to look without them
Outside the cars speed by

I've never heard them until now
I know you care
I know it is always been there
But there is trouble ahead I can feel it
You were just saving yourself when you hide it
Yeah I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I'll be saving myself from the ruin
And I know you care

I used to run down the stairs
To the door and I thought you were there
To shape to comfort of us
Two lovers locked out of love
Oh, but I know you care
I know it is always been there
But there is trouble ahead I can feel it
You were just saving yourself when you hide it
Yeah I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I'll be saving myself from the ruin

I know it wasn't always wrong
But i've never known a winter so cold
No I don't want my hands in the cold
But I still hope
Cause this is how things ought to have been
And I know the words are there
Wasn't all that it seemed
Why can't I dream
Why can't I dream
Cause I know you care
And I know you care
I know you care
I know you care
I know it's always been there

- I don't know where to start, but I guess 10 years anniversary does not come often in a relationship. It still has not dawned on me that this could be the start of something new. Have things changed, or are they still the same since 2002? 

Skinny Love? Nah ...

Two months without a post. I think this space on the web can 'chup lup' (lingkup, close shop) already. Just too overwhelmed with events in life lately. Been down for about a week now, but thankfully someone's there to take care of this fatty.

Just fell in love with this song. A cover of Bon Iver's song; Skinny Love, this 15 years old girl can really belt out a tune with such emotion, it's touching all the right notes and nerves.

It's close to 2 months now that we have stayed together. Although periodically there will be moments of loneliness when Simonlover's away back at his home, yet every 'home'coming is still embraced with much anticipation, and endearment. 

Happy Easter's Day.

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ...


When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?


I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up


And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find


'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up


I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am


I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.


I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)


I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up 

* I am NOT giving up on us. Never.
* No plans for Valentine's yet, but I am sure the coming trip to the city of Sin would do just fine.
* Times are rough, and tempers flared, but at the end of the day ... we're just human. 

The Countdown Begins

2 more days. Wondering if this is a wise move, or vice versa. But I guess the move is imminent. After all, it has been a detrimental 5 years apart.

Spring cleaning in the midst of CNY to welcome one heck of a tenant in two days' time.

How to Set Fire To The Rain?

Simply astonishing vocals there. And this was when she had a bad throat/vocal cord condition, it seems.

A sigh of relief, as something finally come to an end. A deep breath of satisfaction. Yet, with melancholic nuances somewhere in there. 

I can't wait for the New Year to come, so that I can stuff myself crazy with the abundance of food at home.

Never had the best of days, I guess. Something come, and something go. 

Damn, I could use a shoulder to lean on now .....

Good night, and hope that it will REALLY rain soon. I am sticky and sweaty (no erotic thoughts, pls) eventhough I just showered and now seated stark naked in front of my pc.

"Let It Burn ....."

Infatuation. Obsession. Dependence.

Now this could have been a very VERY serious post. But then again ... Horny BF is a little bit wobbly from the sudden stash of workload heaped onto this poor soul with a penchant for sleeping, eating and lazing around. A very cold smack in the face of sorts.

Last Saturday was cool. More like an induction for some, and maintenance for others. ;)

Okay, so I slutted a little bit. But you know there's a price to pay for being the Horny me. Shall not elaborate, but nothing rocked our relationship, that's for sure. Though I can slowly sense ..... insecurity, perhaps?

Sorry dear. The hormones are doing their bit, upsetting this equilibrium. After CNY everything will be okay. Seriously. Or much worse. Yeah ... I must draw my lines well. 

For now ... Good Night horny people. You know who you are. 

And why the Infatuation part? Let's just say that ... there's this person that I have been meeting on a daily basis, even more than Simon himself. And I'm being portrayed as being infatuated? Awww ... come on dear, you know me better than that! :)

I Love You for A Thousand Years

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

- Perfect song to close the magnificent year with. How was your 2011? It  sure felt like as though a thousand events happened in our lives. Each with its own significance, impact and long-lasting aftermath. I feel blessed having someone by my side all these years. A good 9 years.

- To a point of dependence and complacent. Slowly, my mind is drafting a set of resolutions that I know won't materialize 100%, but should set my path towards closing 2012 a much better person. I know I am able to, and it just falls back on how disciplined and broad-minded I can train myself to be.

- Icky, this may be ... but dear, I Love You. And nothing's gonna change that for another 9 .. or thousand years.

Screw It

Yeah. Things are not rosy from all sides. This year is ending with a horrendous thud. Instead of a bang.
Oh yeah. There will be HELL to pay.

I guarantee you that.

Mumford & Sons - The Cave

Mumford & Sons - The Cave

It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind


The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat


But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck


And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again


Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind


So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears


But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck


And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again


So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand


So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say


Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be


And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck


And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Too random? This song is nominated for both Record of the Year and Song of the Year for Grammy's next year. Was taken aback too, since I have never heard of them, and the other guy/band named Bon Iver. 

*Watch this, listen to the lyrics and then go watch their live performances. One of the BEST revelations this year. Not that I have been listening to a lot of songs though. Blame it on the stagnant radio playlist ... still the same tunes blaring since the beginning of the year.

*A wet, wet weekend here in KL. Still raining as I am typing this. A lot of changes, and they will continue to come in weeks and months to come. Can't wait til the next getaway come Feb .... Hope this spirit will stay strong until then.

*Writing less and less, but I doubt there's anyone reading this anyway. :)

Adele - Turning Tables

Turning Tables - Adele

Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you, ooh
Where love is lost, your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no I will never be knocked down

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Turning tables

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables
Turning tables, yeah
Turning ohh

*Still one of the BEST live singer in the scene now.
*You just feel the emotions in every single syllable she belted out, live or recorded.
*Though currently not in such an emotional state of mind, lots (I mean LOTS) of things have and are still happening in our lives. So rapid changes that made us slightly torn apart from each other.
*But this 3 days weekend will be relished; a blessing that's much needed to counter the pains of .... turning tables. 

Rain Washes Away my Guilt

Beautiful Saturday here in KL. Just too perfect to pass this off as another run-of-the-mill weekend. Today's special, oh yeah. In more ways than one.

But I have sinned.

Damn. But it's all good now, are we even? :)

Baby, let's dance the night away and forget the sorrow.

Connected. Someone Like You. MP

A case of two hearts connected as one, the moment we listened to this tune on radio, we prompted each other to tune in almost at the same time. 

Ironically.

Though the gist of the song is more to hanging on to lost love, and secretly hoping for a reconciliation. Hehe .... a bit awkward, but still, a song that fits my current emotion ... though not in this beautiful relationship with the angelic devil of a (Simon)lover.

Oh yeah, let's do MP this Saturday. If you're reading this, come. Not often that we get to dance the night away amidst the restrictions. :)

The Whole 9 Years

It's almost magical. Impossible.

Tell me that it would last until the 5th, and I might have stifled a laugh and partly believed the potential.

Then the 7th year itch arrived just when we were holidaying on an island close to home. Wait, already SEVEN years?!!! OMG. Can get married, give birth and argue over $$ for milk powder jor.

IF normal couple lah ....

In the blink of an eye, it's already 9. The journey was bumpy, the trials and tribulations aplenty; and still coming in waves of merciless nature.

Yet, we have survived 9 whole years together.

I must be dreaming.

Wanna know how did we celebrate this momentous occasion? I'll let the maestro explains in his own words (intercepted by a hot shot or two, like always).

Reflections

The past 4 days have been good. Therapeutic, even. Who would have thought that a moment of silence can be so effective. The weekend's barely started, and here I am hoping that today's already Monday and I can jump in the fray of working my a$$ off. 

Just need timely distractions to get me through the difficult times. I don't need a hero. I need a break.

Happy Malaysia Day (a day late, I know). To those who have lost hope in the administration systems as of recent years, don't be. Be thankful that although the politics might be sucking your soul out of your core, the abundance of natural resources, beautiful landscapes, good people on the streets, delicious myriad of foods from different cultures and most of all ..... we're not constantly on the edge being threatened by natural disasters or warfare.

Maybe because of the contemplation, that we started to take things for granted .... forgetting to treasure the more important things, .... people in life.

Sammi Cheng - Letter To Myself

It does not matter if you understand Chinese or not. 

It does not matter if you have been there, done that ... or not.

It does not even matter if you had been through the trials and tribulations of life ... or not.

God is fair. You can NEVER have the BEST of days, without sacrificing something in return.

A Letter to Myself

The Letter  - Angela Aki

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
Where are you and what are you doing now?


For me who's 15 years old
There are seeds of worries I can't tell anyone


If it's a letter addressed to my future self,
Surely I can confide truly to myself


Now, it seems that I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?
This one-and-only heart has been broken so many times
In the midst of this pain, I live the present


Dear you,
Thank you
I have something to tell the 15-year-old you


If you continue asking what and where you should be going
You'll be able to see the answer


The rough seas of youth may be tough
But row your boat of dreams on
Towards the shores of tomorrow


Now, please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice
For me as an adult, there are sleepless nights when I'm hurt
But I'm living the bittersweet present


There's meaning to everything in life
So build your dreams without fear
Keep on believing


Seems like I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?


Please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice


No matter era we're in
There's no running away from sorrow
So show your smile, and go on living the present
Go on living the present


Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
I wish you happiness

----------------------------------------------------------
Tegami

Haikei kono tegami yondeiru anata wa
Doko de nani wo shiteiru no darou

Juugo no boku ni wa dare ni mo hanasenai
Nayami no kanae ga aru no desu

Mirai no jibun ni atete kaku tegami nara
Kitto sunao ni uchiake rareru darou

Ima makesou de nakisou de
Kieteshimaisou na boku wa
Dare no kotoba wo
Shinji arukeba ii no?
Hitotsu shika nai kono mune ga nando mo barabara ni warete
Kurushii naka de ima wo ikiteiru
Ima wo ikiteiru

Haikei arigatou juugo no anata ni
Tsutaetai koto ga aru no desu
Jibun to wa nani de doko e mukau beki ka
Toitsu dzukereeba mietekuru

Areta seishun no umi wa kibishii keredo
Asu no kishibe e to yume no fune yo susume

Ima makenai de nakanai de
Kieteshimaisou na toki wa
Jibun no koe wo shinjiaru keba ii no?
Otona no boku mo kizutsuite
Nemurenai yoru wa aru kedo
Nigakute amai ima ikiteiru

Jinsei no subete ni imi ga aru kara
Osorezu ni anata no yume wo sodatete
La la la, la la la
Keep on believing
La la la, la la la,
Keep on believing, keep on believing, keep on believing

Makesou de nakisou de
Kieteshimaisou boku wa
Dare no kotoba wo shinji arukeba ii no?
Aa Makenaii de nakanai de
Kieteshimaisou na toki wa
Jibun no koe wo shinjiarukeba ii no
Itsu no jidai mo kanashimi mo
Sakete wa torenai keredo
Egao wo misete ima wo ikite yukou
Ima wo ikite yukou

Haikei kono tegami yondeiru anata ga
Shiawase na koto wo negaimasu


--------------------------------------------------------

*A very poignant song, and you can see from the video above how the children cried almost immediately after the song started. About the hardships, tribulations, and impending challenges in life of a 15 year-old child. 

*In case this tune sounds familiar, this has been covered in various languages; specifically in Cantonese by Sherman Chung, and Sammi has sung this in her concert before. And she cried too.

*Happy Mid-Autumn Festival to everyone. Or anyone who's reading this. Be thankful that you're by the side of your loved one(s). Don't ever take them for granted.

The Missing Saga & A 'Clean' Massage @ Sempurna Avenue

Amazing that two months have passed since the last post. And that was one on how Simonlover's blog was taken down and such. My bad, in case you're still not aware yet (where have you been hiding?), his blog has been reinstated and more raunchy than ever. 

Like as if he was never that in the first place.

Anyway, many things have happened since then, I am not even sure whether I should bore you with the details. 

But just to share with you people, had a really good massage session at Sempurna Avenue somewhere near to Miharja; next to Viva shopping mall there. Can't expose the name of the masseur (shouldn't, right?) but you can mail me in case you want to know.

Bear in mind that he's STRAIGHT, a Thai-Malay guy who's married with 3 kids, aged 31. And hunky with a tattoo or two. Funny the conversation between us revolved more to life and such than horny matters or sexual connotations. 

To the point that when he was doing the customary 'Urut Batin', he wondered if I was gay after all. Usually people would have been itchy itchy and touch him all over (he claimed), but I kept my hands to myself, and continued the chat like old friends.

Well, as HORNY as this specimen can be, on different days; I can be an angel. And all I need in fact, is just a good rubdown and loosen those tight knots from the Pump and Combat sessions. Losing my stamina now after serious bouts of bingeing.

Now to look forward to this Saturday's plan .... :)

Tragically. The End.

If you've been following Simon's posts over on his blog, and was crossing your fingers in anticipation of another boundary-breaking post this beautiful Thursday evening, I wish to apologize on his behalf.

A little too significant perhaps, his barrage of indecent yet extremely sexy posts. Provoking even, that good old Blogger (or Google, maybe) have taken down his blog for good.

Yes. This ain't no prank. Nor joke. And he's currently on turbulent times, for 3 years+ of consistently pleasing his dear avid fans on Welcome to the World of Simonlover; and as sudden as lightning strikes, Google has decided to go against Simon's venture to share his passion  for sexy guys with the rest of the world.

As his lowly other half here, Horny BF would like to take this opportunity to thank every single one of you ardent followers of his addictive, tongue-in-cheek and oh so scandalous blog.

Guess this spells the end of Horny BF Rants too then?

Don't Forget Me, I Beg ....

Someone Like You. Just amazing voice control for someone of her age. Weekend's beckoning, and I'm all but geared up for the two days. Or one and a half, since Sunday I'm forced to work. 

Shucks.

But can't be complaining much. Since next month myself, Simon and two others will be travelling. For a good one week away from work, home and Malaysia.

Timely, since the last official trip (aside from Singapore) was way way back in January of last year. Talk about a holiday hiatus.

About to overwork myself with fits thrown lefts and rights these 3 days. Talk about subduing my own temper, I had to eat, eat and EAT away to get my mind off the pressing matters at work.

Some people can be soooo incompetent.

And some JERK thinks he's king by commanding me around, when I don't even work for him.

A$$hole comes in may forms, indeed.

Unexpectedly

And by next month, around this date, I will be staying all by myself.
The good landlord is getting 'married' and moving in with his beloved.
Envious. But happy that he's moving on with his life, and found a common goal.

Not easy, especially in this type of relationship.

Strange, it's been barely half a year since I moved in. But felt like we have known each other
for much longer than that. And though we barely talk, discuss or bitch about nothings, it was
like as though he dropped a bomb on me yesterday, when breaking the news to me.

I was on the verge of freaking out; possibly wondering if I'm being politely shoo-ed away.
And left homeless on the streets, maybe with a placard hanging around my neck;

"Sugar Daddy Wanted ..."

However, all's not lost. I am the unofficial official housekeeper now. Although I wonder how quiet and lonely this will be in months to come.

*Psst .... who wants to share this boredom with Horny BF? Feel free to apply within. But no throwing parties okay? I don't have the green light to do so. :)